HOW TO LIE

HOW TO LIE

INTRODUCTION

People lie for different reasons, but there isn’t a reason to lie in any circumstance. The truth should always be told.  White lies are told to protect someone’s feelings, but that will eventually

hurt the person being told the lie. These lies will also hurt the liar and jeopardize their friendship.  Pathological liars lie about everything from the small to large, and tend to believe the lies themselves.  It’s like they live in their own fantasy world.

WHY PEOPLE LIE

The person is afraid of the consequences of telling the truth about something they did or didn’t do or what they said or didn’t say.

They are hiding something they have done or said.

A person lies to impress others, be socially accepted, or be liked.

A lie is told to protect themselves or another person.

Someone will lie for financial gain.

Sometimes lies are told because the liar thinks that is what the other person wants to hear.

Abused spouses lie because their spouse may be overly protective or jealous for no reason.  Sometimes there are legitimate reasons for a spouse’s distrust.  When there is not, the spouse lies so as not to start an argument or so that the jealous spouse will not conjure reasons for abuse.

Sometimes lies are told to put the spotlight on someone else that may not have done anything at all.

SIGNS OF LYING

The person doing the lying does not make eye contact with the person they are talking to.  They tend to look down or towards another object such as the ceiling or a far wall.

The liar starts acting like a “busy bee” by wiping off the table, doing dishes, putting food away, or tinkering around the room while talking.  They may also visit the bathroom quite a few times while thinking on their story.

The liar stammers, stutters, fumbles over their words, or changes the pitch in their voice.

While lying, the person exhibits out of the ordinary body language such as tapping the foot or fingers or playing with their hair.  The person acts very nervous, jumpy, fidgety, shaky, and anxious.  The liar may also blush, be very pale, and perspire heavily.

The person may also display rapid breathing, dilated pupils, and nervous laughter.

The facts of their story may not make sense, are not in order, or may change as questions are asked about details. They may add too much detail like they are trying to overcompensate and cover all bases.

The person becomes overly defensive and becomes very aggressive when being questioned.  They may try to take control of the conversation and turn the situation around to accuse the person they are talking to.

When questioned, they can’t answer right away because they are thinking of the “right” answer to keep up with the lie.

When questioned, the liar acts ignorant when the person asking the questions knows that they are not ignorant of what they are discussing.

The liar readily changes the subject very easily to distract the person they are talking to into discussing another topic thus getting the attention off of them.  Sometimes humor or sarcasm is used to change topics.

CONSEQUENCES OF LYING

Telling lies for any reason causes a lack of trust for the person that was lied to.

No one will believe anything the liar has to say, even if it is complimentary.

If the liar never tells the truth about the lie, that person will have to live with the lie as a secret for the rest of their lives.  They will have to remember the lie if the subject ever arises again in the future.

Lies only hurt others by making them believe something that isn’t true.

CONCLUSION

One lie can lead to another.  Once a person starts lying, it seems to be easier for them to continue making up lies until they are caught.  The person who lied to another person should always come clean and tell the truth, even if it is years later regardless of the consequences.  Men and women have been falsely accused and imprisoned due to lies and then released years later once the liar comes forward and confesses the truth.  But the time spent behind bars cannot be erased. 

When husbands and wives lie to each other, a lack of trust and resentment results. Children lie because they are afraid of being punished for something they should not have done or said. As adults, we know better between right and wrong. Lies not only hurt others, but they hurt ourselves as well.